It’s time ‘TIMEOUT’ became a reward and not a punishment – I’ve decided I need my own ‘timeout’…
It has taken me so long to write this monoblog! I swear – I told Rebecca WEEKS ago I had started it..I got as far as the title! Look, before I had children, I only had myself to think about – and I don’t mean in a self-indulgent way, just my days were planned around work and ..well..myself. HA! Forget THAT!!!! I do a lot of my work from home..I don’t have a study or office, I don’t even have a desk –well I do, but it’s covered in dvds and colouring pages!
NUMBER 1: MORE HOURS IN THE DAY!
As I write this, I’m sitting on the couch, with a coffee ( time to make another one actually) and around me is ..a mess. But if I tidied up around me, I wouldn’t have time to write this, or put the clothes on the line, or have a shower, SOMETHING has to give and this morning..it’s the housework. Whether you’re a stay at home Mum or a full time working Mum TIME IS NEVER ON YOUR SIDE…EVER!..When you think you’ll have that hour to do the ironing or God forbid go for a walk and zone out…You have to do the school run, or help with homework, or sort out a sibling spat…the list goes on …’YOU’ know what I’m talking about!!!!! Remember that time in HARRY POTTER (Prizoner of Azkaban) when Professor Mc Gonagall gave Hermione Granger the ‘Time Turner’ so’s she could turn back time to attend more classes?? I’d LOVE one of those please Santa Claus! I think I’d use it to get more sleep, but in reality I know I’d use the bloody thing to get the ironing done, the washing done, and the shopping done…By the way when did doing the grocery shopping ON YOUR OWN become a luxury??!!!!
NUMBER 2: NOT TO BE JUDGED
Don’t start me here…well I’ll start myself.. I was definitely mooching around behind the door when confidence was being handed out – much to the chagrin of my parents. They spent a lot of time drumming self-belief and confidence into me but I think it’s something you’re either born with or not..but when I had my first daughter …I suddenly became a much more confident person. Confidence is expressed differently in different people I guess, and while mine is fairly understated and I like to see myself as realistically confident – when it comes to my children – I’m KING KONG. I do and will do whatever it takes to give our girls the best life they can have. I’m certainly not talking toys and play stations and the latest gadgets etc..(in fact I’m ‘told’ other kids get ‘way more!’)
but I intend to help them to the best of MY ability right through life and through their little phases and dilemmas. I’m not on my own here…I don’t know any mother who wouldn’t put her children first and we’re all doing our bloody best!
So don’t judge a Mum who decides to ‘stay at home’…their days are not filled with daytime TV, and manicures…they’ve decided to suffer less income (if they’ve given up their ‘outside job’) in order to be there to bring their children to school, pick them up, give them pep talks, listen to their highs and lows of the day
bring them to this class and that class, do their homework, give them snacks and dinner, check their homework, laboriously go over tables and spellings, happily be known as “So and So’s Mum”, and do the housework that rarely gets noticed..
Don’t judge a Mum who decides to keep up her ‘outside job’…She’s doing it because maybe the family need the income, or maybe staying at home with children all day is not for her, she didn’t work this hard, spend all those years studying to give it all up ( she still loves her children DEARLY!) or she has no other option because there is no Dad in the picture OR she just wants to create a balance for the children to see Mum AND Dad working, maybe Dad is the ‘stay at home parent’ and she’s the bread winner…these Mum’s start their day as ‘Mum’…go to work, chances are they are the first person the crèche/school ring if the little one vomits, has head-lice, or falls and needs collecting.
Well ‘Mum can’t drop everything and run’..she needs to call on someone and then worry for the rest of her shift until she gets home. If the day runs smoothly, Mum comes home and switches into mum mode…we are always ( with some exceptions I know) the Go To Girl, and whilst Stay at home mums are knackered too- Mums that work outside the home are exhausted and still have to wear that mask that says I am ok in a corporate environment.
Don’t judge a Mumpreneur ( yes, it’s a word)…We’re the Mums who juggle the 2 former types..we do the school runs, we do the homework, we do the dinners etc, but we also bring in the bacon by working weekends, while the kids are in school..at night on the computer when all we want to do is sleep..so when we’re not free for coffees, or general socializing – chances are it’s because we’re working!
Don’t judge Mums who bottle feed their babies…It’s not for everyone. Some Mums are told by their Doctor they just can’t, some Mums are too exhausted to do day AND night feeds
some Mums get mastitis and then everyone suffers!..but these Mums love their babies as much any other Mum and yes, sterilising bottles and getting the right formula is their decision..
Don’t’ judge Mums who breast feed…
They’re doing what’s right for THEM. They are not all tree hugging hippies, a not all breast feeding Mums are doing it to lose weight quicker!
Don’t judge Mums who go on committees, or do voluntary work…they’re not ‘do gooders’ or interfering busy bodies…they are doing what they can do contribute to their child’s community be it at school or elsewhere…trust me, my fellow members of my daughter’s PTA in school are all hard working, and lovely people, but listen we all have other things we could be doing with a Tuesday night but we decide to plan, and organize to support our children’s education. PS. We’d also love to just chat and have tea and coffee served to us, but if we don’t go on tea and coffee duty – who will??
NUMBER 3: MORE SLEEP
Oh Dear God! When does this end??? Are we destined to be woken up every night due to a dream or nightmare or..you know… a chat while they go to the toilet, to be quickly replaced by waiting to hear the key turn in the lock when they reach the ripe old age of 40 when they’re allowed out after 11 pm???
I’m constantly banjaxed! Okay, so I have low iron…but a few more hours sleep – wouldn’t that be nice???? With the Summer Holidays on the way – I’m frantically searching for black out blinds..because apparently as soon as the room is in any way bright and the birds can be heard – it’s ‘Morning Time Mammy!!!”…no it’s 6am you nut bag!!!
NUMBER 4: FRIENDS
As I said earlier mums are happy to be known as ‘Someone’s Mum’ – we answer to it…that’s cool..but guess, what we have a name and it doesn’t start with ‘M’ and end in ‘ammy’. Likewise, we have a sense of humour, we have movies we like to see, we have conversations that don’t involve our children and we need friends to share all these things with. It’s a bad idea to just surround yourself with your immediate family ( Mums that work outside the home at least will have work colleagues to interact with), friends are essential to keep You being Yourself. I’m blessed – I have my core group of girls from school, I have a handful of friends from modeling, I have My Bex, and I now have a lovely group of girlfriends from my daughter’s school. We just click, we text, we check in on eachother, we notice if another kiddy is looking sad, we go for walks ( albeit with the kids after school), we do playdates, (we once in a while get out at night), but we understand being a Mum and give eachother credit for doing our best. Listening to Ryan Tubridy on RTE1 this morning – a survey showed that women started losing friends from aged 25 onwards…yes, we do some but I’ll tell you what – the friends we make along the way through being a Mum are worth their weight ( including that baby weight that won’t budge!) in gold!!!
I’m sure there are many many many more things Mums want – I could get into the whole issue of pensions and feminism and God knows what else…but guess what…I’ve to go and do the crèche run!!!